Born and Brud - Gerrard Glossop

I went to Glossop Bonfire last night. It were highly comical to see all the Shirebrook Parkers on the pavements. Using muscles they only use once a year, they come out of their houses, cast a loving look at their 4x4s, and walk to the park. First aid were on hand for any what found the trek too strenuous, and Mountain Rescue were on standby for them what took a wrong turn.

The footpaths were clearly marked, so not that many got lost. Of course, a lot tried to drive there, but they were forced to abandon their cars and complete the journey on foot. People say it's not like it were in th'old days, but it were last night. It's the only night of the year when there are more people than cars on the streets of Glossop.

  What has changed is the number of people who refuse to pay for the fireworks and watch from the wall. When I were a lad there were thousands of people on the wall and a scattering of dignitaries and do-gooders inside the park. These days almost everybody pays. Next year the Glossop Gazette should do a "Wall of Shame" feature with pictures of all the tight-fisted Glossopians who come to watch the fireworks for nowt along Manor Park Road.  It's them stingy beggars what give Glossop its reputation as the "Aberdeen of the High Peak".

  People say that the youth of today are lazy and have no respect, but I disagree. The big difference is that when I were a lad, if I did summut wrong, the nearest person in authority would take a stick or belt, and subject me to a public beating. That learned me proper manners, and them what saw it were also minded to behave themselves. But the young uns these days get none of that. They learn their manners off the internet, so can we be surprised if they think it's ok to have five girlfriends and run round with Kalashnikovs screaming racist obscenities? I think not.

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